Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Out Of Hiding To Live MY Life, Size Zero Or Not!

While scrolling through one of my favourite workout Facebook page, an article sparked my attention. Have you ever heard of the Fat Girl Dancing? On-Air Producer Whitney Way Thore and her partner made a video of her dancing (all 350 lbs of her as she points out) and the fitness page I was on explained how Whitney was trying to reclaim the word FAT.

Well THIS was not the page to have a discussion over it because instead a surplus of comments on her appearance and health became the focus of the post and let me tell you, it was horrid!

Commentors went to express concern on how could someone "do that to their body". The "how can someone embrace an unhealthy lifestyle"? and my personal favourite the horror in calling a bigger woman beautiful.

Before I continue et me tell you a little bit more about this amazing woman, Whitney Way Thore.
Credit: www.nobodyshame.com website
Whitney Way Thore is an On-Air Producer who has been through the wringer since she was a little girl. Going through diets, and eating disorders, being mocked for her size and having to listen to the stereotypes of what people perceive fat people to do, to finally receiving a diagnosis of PCOS Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

Thore started the No Body Shame Campaign. It began with the YouTube video and it has become a movement to fight body shaming and to rise above the negativity.

What I love about the Facebook page is that although most of the things they write about and post are your generic fitness, perfection based models and ideas. They do post amazing and inspiring articles of people who never quit and are motivational.

And that was the point of the post. For someone like myself, I constantly search for something to motivate me and Thore is motivational. She did something that MOST wouldn't think of doing let along post it online. She reminds me that even though I'm not a size zero I can still enjoy taking a dance class, run a marathon, take family photos and enjoy living my life instead of hiding from the world as if I'm not worthy of the experiences.
Here I am! Nothing stoping me! 

The idea of coming out of the shadows is a hard one for me. Especially with the stereotypes we hear of military spouses who are not of the perfect image. In fact, I almost gave up blogging because of it. I was scared of what others had to say and is that really way to live?

For the commentors who only saw her physique, you completely missed the point of the post and let me say it's sad that all you are seeing is "the embracing of an unhealthy lifestyle" instead of the true statement of self-love.

If anyone can get someone like me to let my inhibitions down and dance, has to be called motivational.


Friday, March 28, 2014

I May Be Getting Too Old... Maybe

After an extremely long day, I wasn't in the mood for much. So when it was time to take Ducky to karate I was biting my tongue and hoping for the hour to go by so I could get the kids to bed and for me to jump into a bath and relax.

On our way home I saw a friend in the parking lot so I stopped for a much needed chat. During the five minute we were chatting, we were interrupted several times by a guy revving his engine. Every time I went to respond, he would rev his engine.

Most of the time I don't mind, it doesn't bother me. I'm used to hearing cars revving and I do love the sound but when my friend couldn't hear me and people in the coffee shop across the street were starting to look at why the ground was shaking because of his music he was blaring, it was becoming a nuisance.

I couldn't take it any longer and I did the unthinkable!

"It's a Sunfire! If you want to get attention get a better car not make it louder! Get over yourself!!"

I turned to my friend who had her jaw down to her lap and I realized that I wasn't just saying it in my head!

Did I really just say that to someone?! What on earth was I thinking? I talk a big game but I never would have said something like that, especially hollering across a busy parking lot.

When I was dating my husband, he was working at his friends performance car shop where they decked their cars out with body kits and loud speakers before Fast and the Furious was even released. I loved hanging out with them and driving around so why would I blurt out what I did to some random guy? Am I getting old? I'm hoping it was just a bad day situation!

My friend sure had a kick with it! 

Have you ever had a bad day that you ended taking it out on an unexpected random?
Tell me about! Make me feel better!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Where have I been....


So many questions!
Where are you? What have you been doing? You haven't been writing?!

I would love to say that it's been an exciting road, hence the lack of post but alas! It's been quiet boring here at at Casa de Mayhem!! That and I have a bit of a writer's block, maybe it's the lack of Vitamin D, hopefully this block will come to an end soon.

HOWEVER let me fill you in on what has been going on!

Here's what's been going on:

  •  We got a puppy!!! 
Hi Mayhem Peps!
My name is Riddick. You know the Vin Diesel character.
VERY scary....
But really, I'm just plain silly!!
We're having fun! I mean look how cute I am!
  • I completed my very first Army Run!!

Best day ever!!
I'm training for the next one!!
  • Ducky is now in karate and really enjoys doing! 
    Three stripes!! Great job kiddo!
  • Ducky also had an educational assessment to see how he learns. We've been on the list for this assessment for almost three years and we were VERY fortunate to finally be able to talk to someone and have all the tests done to help him with how he learns. A very bright child! Can't wait to hear the results!
  •  Chicky learned how to skate this year and LOVES it!!
    Dad and Chicky having a blast!
  • Although MCpl. Mayhem has been making appearances throughout the year we've been fortunate that he's been home to make some memories.
    I want say that I'm totally jealous of the reaction they have for him,
    but it melts my heart every time!
  • We had fun while he was away too.
Spa Day!
Ducky has the best belly laugh when Riddick licks him!




I SWEAR I'm not counter surfing!
She loves to help on her terms!
  • And then this happened...

Which kind of put a huge damper on everything!
  • We made our annual Christmas Card
I can't wait for next year's card! I have so many ideas!
  • Four birthdays happened
Chicky turned 6!
No photo of myself, but I turned couch, couch, moving right along..
Ducky turned 9!
Now you know why I don't need to mention my age!

Riddick turned 1!!
He got a bath on his birthday and he smells great for the occasion!
And there you have it, that's what we have been up to. Come back soon for more stories and mayhem!

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Saturday, February 1, 2014

MP Cheryl Gallant's Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

There have been way too many conflicting messages over the statement that MP Cheryl Gallant said over the issue of PTSD.

Lets break it down shall we?

The first thing I found was the National Post article where at starts discussing Veterans Affairs Minister Juilian Fontino's call to resign after how he managed the meeting with veterans in regards to the eight Veteran Affairs Offices closing down. One of the reason he blames the closures was that veterans were reluctant to seek treatment. But we are not talking about Fontino here, allow me to get to the heart of the anger.

As the article continues MP Cheryl Gallant (a well known supporter of our troops and whose riding is Renfrew-Nipissing-Pembroke where Garrison Petawawa is located), part of the outrage comes to play when the article wrote that Gallant said
"The widely held belief among soldiers that admitting to post-tramatic stress can
jeopardize their careers is little more than a figment of their imaginations, she told the House."
Credit: National Post Murray Brewster, Canadian Press

From there came the outrage that many soldiers, families and supporters felt over these comments.
Despite the Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome that MP Gallant, who is obviously too reluctant herself to seek treatment for, I decided to do some extra digging. While I dug through all the regular outlets I found a twitter post where she replied to someone in her defence and linked the transcript from her speech to the House.


And from the transcripts I found what she actually said:

"When members come forward and ask for help for operational stress injuries, that
does not mark day one of the beginning of the end of their careers. Any treatment
they receive, be it through the military itself or through operational stress injury
social support, OSISS, is kept completely confidential. The chain of command does
not have access to their medical records, and the stigma that has to be overcome
is a stigma within themselves"

Either way what she says doesn't seem to support our troops. It's not a figment of soldiers imaginations that there is some concern that coming forward will either hinder or end a soldier's career, there have been several well documented stories of soldiers who were released shy of their 10 year pensions, suicides and the lack of aid for soldiers with PTSD, which Gallant herself mentioned in the same speech that there was a health crisis in her riding.

But here's the thing- Gallant is right in the fact that the chain of command do not have access to their medical records. However when they do come forward restrictions may be placed on the soldier and a chit has to be given to the chain of command so they know if the soldier is able to go on course, tour, handle a weapon, exercise, attend regular appointments which would prevent them from leaving their geographical area etc.

As I continued to read through her speech, there were many parts that were in favour of our troops and her disgust for the treatment of our soldiers except it seems that excerpts like the one above prevents anyone from continuing to read them. And this is where I go back to the untreated Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome.

While I investigated more I found a YouTuube video of the Rick Mercer Report Rick's Rant where Mercer's rant of the week happened to be a well known blunder of 2011 where he points out MP Gallants less than stellar way with words.



And we've all heard the phrase "actions speaks better than words". Gallant has shown even without saying a word how much she cares for her riding by walking out of a live radio broadcast and bailing from a political debate.  To having money donated for the stopthelightbulbban.ca to help save the incandescent lights after the federal government's plan to ban the lightbulb was going into the Conservative riding association in Timmins, Ont.

Some outrage is valid but there is no need to condemn her because as Mercer says "there's no cure for stupid" and she'll kill her career on her own!
I would like to see the outrage where it should have been placed. Because Veteran Affairs Minister Julian Fontino just managed to get away with treating veterans with disrespect while pushing Gallant into the line of fire.





Tuesday, January 28, 2014

MOM WARS: Why It's Not Your Business


My, my! Is it true? Could I have been in a tussle with another mom over parenting??

Of course! When aren't moms arguing over who's way is better or who has it the hardest?

On my personal Facebook page I posted an article which I found interesting about a mom who was making the point that her children were not the center of her universe. Although the post was rather harsh, there were some points that I did agree with. Over the course of the next couple of days I was bombarded with links and posts by another mother who tried to dump her point of view on my page, basically making me feel like I'm being a bad parent. Linking irrelevant posts on my page to prove her point that how I parent was wrong. This is also the same parent who asks for my opinion on how to do something and then tells me that's not right.  Um, you asked me for the help, lady. I don't solicit advice!

First and foremost, I'm a huge believer in having a good debate. However, I NEVER posted this article on her page with nasty comments on how my parenting was wrong.  I put it on my page. In fact, if someone was to look at the articles I link on my page you will see a vast spectrum of parenting articles that I find interesting.

Secondly, I NEVER tagged other moms on these articles, they were there for my interest and if my friends wanted to click on them so be it. It was not there to start another mom war. I personally felt that she was attacking my parenting by posting these links and suggesting that I don't nurture my children. Again, no one knows how I parent. I don't endorse my parenting skills because, drumroll please....

It's none of your business!!

Ok, maybe it is a little, I mean you are here on my blog! You are here to read the insights of my life as a military wife and mom. But never have I said or supported one particular way of parenting.

I appreciate many facets of parenting, not only does one way of parenting differ from another based on lifestyle, circumstances and well the child, I love to learn. And you would think that in this particular situation it would be welcomed by someone like myself who loves to read about how other moms are coping, however this made me more angry than grateful for the the knowledge that was being forced down my throat.

If you want to yell from the rooftops on how you parent, that's fine by me! If I ever have a question on how to discipline my child after everything else has failed, I will ask. But don't stand on your soapbox and yell at other moms your beliefs like we are all going to be receptive to your noise.

This kind of self-righteous attitude of pointing out another person's parenting isn't helpful to the stress out parent, particularly moms, who are doing their best by telling them how they are doing it is wrong. Because really it's no one's business but the mom in the moment with their child.

The way I see it, as long as the child is thriving, who care how they got there?
Ever had a disagreement with another parent over parenting? Let me know!

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Military Wife Stereotypes Are Getting Old!

We've all see the military wife stereotype posts. The photos of extremely obese women with captions of "dependapotamous", "gold diggers" or "rank wearers".
The comments by other women who declare that they have their own lives and have better things to do than complain about pages like the new Facebook page that was created by a Canadian military member who funny, remains anonymous, and has no problem targeting everything about the military. No one has a free pass and that includes the wives.

I'm surprised that to this day this idea of a perfect dutiful military wife still exists. You leave the house and you can show pride in your husband, but not too much or you're considered a rank wearer. You stay at home with your kids and you're considered a gold digger with no interest in having your own life. You don't dress up to the hilt and you're considered to be a PJ wearing dirtbag. Having a bad day and need to vent to your friends? You are now a gossip and a whiner. Have a little extra weight on you? Dependapotimous. Didn't clean your house today? Lazy. And the list goes on and on!

Why are military spouses still get treated with such disrespect not only by each other but now by military members themselves?! Is that how you feel about your wife? Your friends wives?

And what about you spouses who join in on the bashing? Does it make you feel better to poke fun of the neighbour next door that has weight issues because she's trying to lose the baby weight or has a medical issue after she helped you shovel your driveway in the winter? Didn't think about it that way huh? Do you look down on your friend who is at home all day because she couldn't get a job in a small town and had no other opportunities yet she stopped what she was doing to help you bring your kid to the hospital because your husband is away?
Or would you openly make fun of the woman in the pajama pants at Shoppers calling her dirty and lazy if you knew that her kids were sick and she needed more Tylenol and has been up for 36 hours, a family friend passed away, she can't get home to be there because her husband is on tour and she's mentally and physically exhausted? Well it happened to me, it's never a good feeling.

So if I'm correct, basically what our ideal military spouse looks like in 2014 is a woman who is in the perfect body fat percentage who is dressed appropriately and has her hair and makeup done every time she leaves the house, she never has a bad day or complains about any thing, who has a job, serves her spouse, has the right amount of pride, has no opinions or a voice. And if she had kids, she with them all the time,  keeps her house clean, her kids well behaved, and everything is well, perfect.

Is that even possible?! Does she sleep?

I get that this is going to continue and I'm sure that I'll be ridiculed and mocked for my thoughts but I just don't get it. And don't get me wrong I've seen the pages and I've laughed along with some of the housing photo jokes, the crazy discussions on the wives page and all but directly attacking someone for their circumstances is just cruel. We all go through the struggles of the moves, the empty job hunts, missing our families and worrying over our soldiers, I'm confused on how we can be so divided.

Even after seven years of being a military spouse, I cling to the idea that I kept hearing about military wives helping each other and sticking together. I think with social media and the comfort people feel to say anything on those sites, hate and negativity with no consequences will never go away,  maybe it's time for me to let that idea go.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I'M BACK!!

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,... We'll take a cup of kindness yet.... mmmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm syne!!!

So I never remembered the lyrics to the song but the sentiment is there!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

I've been on a VERY long hiatus, more of a writers block if you will and it's still there but sometimes I feel that writing something might help break me out of this rut. Plus it's 2014 and Im ready to start my new book as I keep seeing throughout the inter-webs.

A goal of mine to write more often, as I find it therapeutic when I can get the words out!
I plan on training for the Army Run again and this time beat my time from last year.
I also plan on continuing with my weight loss goals.
I will complete my photography courses which I've put on the back burner due to overly volunteering at my kids school, which is great but extremely draining. Which brings me to my next plan.
Although I LOVE volunteering with the school and I love have that extra time with the kids and all that I plan on spend less time stressing over Parent Council things and stepping back from bigger, more time consuming projects so I can focus a bit more on myself! I have to, I think last year I drained myself to a point where I wasn't taking care of me. And I need to watch that I don't make everyone else a priority when my engine is running on empty.

What are your goals for 2014? Anything extra special coming up this year that you are looking forward to! Comment below and let me know all that you have planned!!


And there it is! A post for 2014!
May your new year be a positive one!

Later days!