I So Needed a Shower After That!!

Now get your heads out of the gutter!

Ok maybe you don't have to! Because after I what I saw on the MTV Movie Awards. YEAH!

So here's what went down:

Let me first apologize to my mom. Yes, I was paying attention to what you were saying to me on the phone until this happened. Here it goes:

While I was on the phone with my mom I muted MTV's Movie Awards so I could hear her better. I wasn't really paying attention until I saw a pair of angel wings and a guy in nothing but ass less chaps and something that looked like a skirt that Brad Pitt wore in the movie Troy. I took a closer look to see that it was Sacha Baron Cohen who was promoting his character Bruno, a homosexual model for his newest movie ( Cohen is best known for for his character Borat!).

A reminder. I can't hear anything!

All of a sudden the the harness that Cohen is hanging off of malfunctions which looks like it was meant to happen. Cohen gets flipped upside down and the harness starts to lower down into the crowd. Once it he lands, I notice that he landed on Eminem and a bunch of his bodyguards!!

YEAH! I KNOW!!

It looks like the bodyguards push Cohen around like their own personal pinata and then they left the award show!

I'm sorry, but I don't care if "bad publicity is good publicity" but MTV has taken it too far! I know that Eminem has not been one to hold his tongue when it comes to celebrities and social issues but I don't believe he need to have Cohen's butt in his face! I was never a fan Cohen and now I remember why! I have a sense of humour but I don't think I would ever want to have someones junk in my face!

I need another shower!

The Litte Mama That Could!!

I DID IT!!!

I Finally have my house clean!! It took me all week but it is finally done!

Why did it take so long to get it done? I have no idea! My husband left on Tuesday and that night I had gotten the living room cleaned! I even took a photo because no one would believe me!

I also was able to organize my daughters clothes because they all over the floor! Now all her stuff are in the drawers and they actually fit her instead of guessing if that outfit will fit or not!

I did clean my son's room but that did not last too long. It's clean but as clean as a 4 year old's room is going to be.

My bedroom is finally a relaxing place for me to decompress from the crazy days. I'm not putting up a photo because I'm not quite done decorating it yet. I still need some frames hung and shelves to be mounted ( darling, that's on your honey-do list)!

It is so nice to walk up the stairs at the end of a long day and not see a pile of clothes that needs to be washed ( oh crap! there is still a load that needs to be done!) or step on some pee because a certain someone wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. And slip into my bed with clean sheets that smell like Febreeze!

My biggest accomplishment I have to say is my kitchen.

I LOVE MY KITCHEN!! It is 5 times bigger than the one we had in our old PMQ (private married quarters). We couldn't even open the stove and the fridge at the same time. I had half the cabinet space and we did not have counter space. The counter space we did have fit the microwave on one side, sink in the middle and dish rack on the other side. WOOH space!

So now that I have all this space in the new house I took advantage of it and dump everything in there. Now there is a place for everything and it looks AWESOME!

But here's the deal. Now that my hubby is not home I have no one who will look at my house and say, "Wow, the house looks great hun!". Now I know that as a part of my stay at home mom job requirements if you will is cleaning the house. But I would like to get some praise for all the work I did!

So, yes! I am looking for a pat on the back! For someone who has been avoiding cleaning up for weeks now, the Minister of Planning has decided to get off her ass this week and my house look great!

STUPID QUESTIONS!

Why do people ask such stupid questions??

I was sitting in the doctor room waiting for the him to arrive and the nurse asks me if I was waiting for the doctor. I look up at her and reply,

" Oh no, I noticed how comfy your examining bed looked and I decided to relax for a bit".

The nurse did not like this too much, then the doctor came in and asked how my day was going, which is a relatively innocent question however I was in that room for almost 45 minutes ( and the best part of that was I had an appointment!) and was not really into responding to him especially when as soon as I was going to answer him he answered his cell phone!!

So he asks me again and I resisted the urge to point out that his phone has voicemail, but I did resist, especially since I realized he was the one who was going to do my yearly physical...

And that was not the worst part! He gave me the dreaded paper robe and right after I sat back down I noticed that I'm on the 3rd floor with the window WIDE open! My ass was there for everyone to see!! And I know this stuff is not a single way window because there was a curtain that the nurse closed AFTER I had changed!! Nice! I guess that teaches me to never piss off the nurse again!

I love doctor appointments! They are just swell!!

Now That Hubby is Gone Crap in the House Break!

Like clockwork when my hubby leaves for a course, something happens in my house!

I heard the washer tonight acting up and making a funny waterfall sound and for some reason my body did not move when my brain was screaming "the basement is flooding!". Why does my son insist on putting crap in the sink where the washer dumps water into?!

I course I know this is happening! Why won't I move (I wasn't typing this post when it happened, but I might as well have been). I do have to say that while I was cleaning up the wet basement floor I was thinking about what I was going to type here!

I was also thinking if my husband is reading this right he must be laughing at the fact that NOTHING happens when he is home!! Damn Murphy's Law!!

So now I'm in my room hiding from the world relaxing after the mopping workout that was unscheduled for me this evening!

Let the mayhem continue!!

I want to thank Bundle 2 Baby for giving me this award!!



I'm so excited to get this award!!



I want to pass this award on to Supermom from The Adventures of Supermom... now where is my cape?

and to Stephanie from My Loves Forever.



Congrats ladies your blogs are awesome!!!

Gone for Five Weeks?!? What???

Tomorrow my hubby is taking off for five weeks and I'm terrified!!

Not by the fact that he is leaving for five weeks. But my son has just figured out "time" and that daddy goes away for a really long time and he's not sure when he is coming back.


And that is hard for me! Because the boy tends to have the worst temper tantrums and is very abusive towards his sister and me.

I do have to say though that he has gotten better to listening to me. AND he completed a full time out without having to run back and forth for about an hour, putting him back on his chair when he leaves it and starting all over again. So it's a HUGE deal that a time out lasted 4 minutes!

So the troops took decided to go to the new park near our house. We have a park that is a spit away from our Private Married Quarters but it's so rundown we are scared for the kids to be on it!

This new park is made with Lil' Tykes equipment so it meant more for toddlers and they laid it on recycled old tired, which is great because now cats and other animals aren't using the sand as their personal washroom because there is no sand! YEAY!



And can I tell you how cushy it is?! I was expecting that rubber stuff to be hard and rough to play on but the second I step on it I felt like I was in a Dr. Scholl's commercial. I was gellin'!

My only concern is that once it gets really hot, how hot will my troops feet will get?

Hubby decided to bring out the remote control cars that he and Ducky got for Christmas. Ducky has been wanting to break that toy in for months.
And break it in he did! He took that thing down the slide and off the equipment and the car got some big air.... until he took it off the highest part of the park and it broke... in two!

I've told Cpl. Mayhem that nothing lasts in this kids hands and he wanted me to give him examples, well there it is!
The park was fun and it pretty much pooped out my troops, which is great.
I must try to do this again when hubby is gone, we will see how Ducky behaves the first time and hopefully we can make it a nice part of our evening routine before or after dinner.

As long as he looks like this at the end of the day!!

OH and here are my awesome flowers that came in a basket from hubby for our fifth anniversary!
HE DID GOOD!!

Five Years Later We Still....

• Enjoy each others company



• Laugh with each other (or at each other but we a still laughing)



• Listen to each other



• Have incredibly inappropriate PDA



• Get each others jokes



• Know when to step back when either one of us is angry



• Support each other



• Protect each other



• Stand up for each other



• Can't keep a house clean, but who is trying when we are having so much fun



• Are learning new things about the other



• Are honest with each other, sometimes to a fault!



• Love each other

Have a wonderful 5 year anniversary baby! Let the mayhem continue...

Random Thoughts....

My daughter takes a lot of characteristics of her father. She took a chunk off my toe, I said ouch but I'm consoling her

When I went to my sanctuary ( Shoppers Drug Mart, don't judge!) I noticed the "someone is not wearing their seat belt" light on. I had my on! My husbands rucksack weighs so much my car though I had a passenger!

My twin sister is a hypochondriac! She knows this, I tell her all the time. When I told her my doctor called to tell me that my blood work showed me that I was anemic. The first thing she asked was if I wanted her to move in with me ( sweet). Then she called back 10 minutes later to find out if it was hereditary ( that's my sis! hehehe!).

William H. Macy narrates the Curious George cartoon. I know!

Lee Ann Womack, known for her country song " I Hope You Dance" sings the theme song for the Bearstein Bears. Hey! You would look for something interesting during the credits too if cartoons are boring for you!

Here's a fun factoid that I've had in my pocket for a while: Alicia Keys and Adam Pascal ( Roger from the Orginal Rent cast memeber and on the Rent Movie) both sang on the Backyardigans

If you were wondering what Elijah Wood has been up to since his "Frodo" Days in the Lord of the Ring Trilogy? You can find him on Yo Gabba, Gabba!

I thought American Idol was fixed ( Adam Lambert?) but I guess not...

I'm totally going to piss my husband off watching So You Think You Can Dance this summer, he totally hates Mary Murphy's scream!

Why to older kids vandalize little kid playgrounds? What's the purpose of it? It's not like the toddlers can read what they wrote! There is this handy invention call a pen and it works great with PAPER! The base spent all this money on really nice Lil' Tikes playground equipment but to have these little pukes deface it before it was done! SHAMEFUL!

Why do doctors make you get an an appointment to hear something you already know? What a waste of time yesterday was! He could have told me everything I already knew on the phone. Getting babysitting and a taxi. Fun!

My twin sister knows where my priorities lie! When I tell her I have to get off the phone to go do something, she tells me to give her a legitimate excuse so I told her So You Think You Can Dance is on and she told me to get off the phone!

Ok, I'm going to focus on my guilty pleasure now! Happy Thursday!

COMING SOON!!!

Behind The Mayhem

I'm a mom, wife, friend, and a blogger.

I graduated with diplomas in Broadcast Journalism and Radio Announcing. But living in a place that looks like the town was built around the military base, there isn't many opportunities to find a great job in my field. So that's why I blog!

Well, that's not true.....
I blog because no one listens to me at home!

I also wanted to share my stories to the world.

I'm a military wife. My husband Cpl. Mayhem, will be deploying to Afghanistan in April 2010. I really wanted him to have a place where he can read what was going on at home without having me to recount what happens during a phone call, which most military wives know are not always long.

I met Cpl. Mayhem in college and we were inseparable ever since! Well.... that's partially true. After we got married he joined the Canadian Military. It was a long process for him to finally get accepted but he did!


A year after we got married and a had our first child, "Ducky". He got the nickname when a nurse gave him a duck hat that engulfed his small head!
Ducky and I lived alone for a year while on Cpl. Mayhem was gone for a whole year at basic.

Ducky is a bundle of joy but a challenge. Fun for everyone, including my blog! The stories are never ending with this little man!




And finally there is my daughter "Chicky". Nicknamed for the sound she made in the delivery room. Plus she was so small.

She's the light in everyone eyes, including Ducky's! He is the best big brother! She follows him around constantly and is learning tons from him. Which can be a good thing, but when the bad habits are being taught not so much!

We are all living through the live of being military. It's a hard life but a rewarding one!
We watch as my husband gets ready for his deployment and we all cope with the trials of dad going away for weeks on end.

When we moved to our first posting, for the longest time I felt like it was a prison sentence. I was alone in a new town, no job and no friends. For the first year I hated my husband for choosing a job that took me away from everyone that I loved. But now being here for almost 4 years there are the good times and the bad.

This is my journey through the process of my soldier getting ready for deployment and how I'm coping with the trials of being a military wife and a mom. Thank you for following me through this time.

Blood Work, BBQs and Brazilian Beans!

I FINALLY got my blood work done today. I was not too impressed about going at all but I'm tired of being tired....

So I sat in the chair, had some small talk with the nurse taking my blood, then she looks at the paper and starts counting what needs to be tested. One, two, three, four..... ten... fifteen. Good God! How much do you want to take out of me?

She puts the rubber band thingy on my left arm and starts to feel around for a vein. As she starts to do this I think of my stylist who is TOTALLY in the wrong field and should try this job out! No vein there. She wraps my right arm.... Should I tell her that I'm going to be a challenge?....

She looks up at me and says, " It's probably because you've been fasting".

"Oh no, when I came through the door my veins decided to hide! Hehehe!" She's looking at me funny. Ok, tough crowd. Is this mic on?

She looks at me and says, " I don't get why you are so scared of getting blood work done when you have tattoos."

Maybe that's because I've never gone to a tattoo parlour and they've drawn vials of my blood thank you!

She finally got a vein and now she has become my new best friend! One time, no need to look for another vein. Thank you cranky nurse!!

Once we are out of the lab we head out to Wal-Mart where we go in search for a BBQ. We decide to get one from the grocery store near the house because it looked like a longer lasting BBQ. But is it just me or do some BBQs look like NASA space ship rejects?

So for being such a brave girl I decided to make my favorite dinner. Brazilian Beans! Feijoada! YUM-O! But the best part of it is that my daughter is just as crazy about them as I am!!!



This post today is for my mother! Thank for you teaching me to make a great meal and you can now stop bugging me about getting the tests done!

MOMVERSATION MONDAYS!

Heather Armstrong from Dooce is getting closer to delivering baby #2 so she started off the topic on "How Do You Prepare For A Second Child".

For myself I was a little nervous about having Chicky. My son was pretty much my everyday and I wondered what was I going to with him once this second baby came into our lives? How was she going to be incorporated in our troop? How will Ducky feel about it? I had some guilt about that but at the same time in my selfish side of my sub cranium I was perturbed by the idea of having to go through "newborn" stages all over again. Hell! I got my son potty trained and now I have to diaper and breastfeed all over again. It was a crappiest game of Monopoly where once my son was in a state of independence I landed on the Go To Jail block! Don't pass go. Don't collect your sanity!

But once Chicky was born I didn't feel like that anymore and at the same time I didn't feel like a complete idiot because I had done that before and I could say to those who were questioning me: " Umm, yes, I've done this before! Believe me, she will make it to her High School graduation in one piece!". Not to mention I got lucky that after having my son who's all energy (me!), I got a very laid back baby #2. She's her father's child!

I agree with Dana when she says you are so much confident with your second child. I kept second guessing myself with my first child. I was paranoid about diseases and injuries that I don't think my son was able to breath until I told him to half the time. But with my daughter, she could bounce off the couch while playing with my son and I don't have the urge to go get a cat scan. Not that I won't comfort her if she's hurting, but when my son tripped at friends house and clipped the fire place I was ready to dial 911 and had them on speed dial!

I actually never thought of how they were going to interact with each other until one day I went to pick Ducky up from Kiddie Kollege and he ran towards me, then dodge me all together and gave his little sister a big hug and said I miss you so much! Heart squish! Now that I go back through it all, life would never have been right without both my kids. We are complete!!

WTF?!!?

Finally got my rat's nest I like to call my hair done yesterday! But can I say 4 hours later I'm not too impressed with it. Don't get me wrong I like it but I was hoping for thicker highlights. I love doing crazy things with my hair so I wanted it to POP!! Instead it's just OK...

Come on! 4 hours in a chair, with the amount of foils in my hair I was able to receive NASA transmissions off my head! Oh and for those Big Brother believers or those who think that there is a conspiracy going on in our governments: Nothing to report between the hours of 11:30 and 1pm!
But the real zinger was when I went to get my eyebrows waxed! Oh the things we do to look presentable! So my stylist gets me to sit on this bed to start on the waxing process. She stares at my eyebrows intently for 5 minutes then cleans them. She starts putting on the wax and presses hard about 20 time in the middle of eyebrows with the cloth. In my head I thinking I don't remember my eyebrows being so bad that she has to press so hard on them. I joked that they looked like Bert's eyebrows but geesh!


Then I figure out why. Her method of waxing is not just rip the cloth off my eyebrow, she has the "pull it slowly like a band-aid" philosophy. UMM OUCH!!
Then she goes for my left lower brow, puts on a bit of wax, then presses... and presses. Alright lady your in the wrong field because your finger is now in the middle of my skull from all this pressing, then I feel a slow RRRIIIIPPP.

"HELLO!!?" I could have gotten my 4 year old to do this by licking a Fruit-by-the-Foot on my eye in my kitchen! Then she proceeds to spend twenty minutes using a tweezers on my brows! I asked for them to be waxed! Throughout the entire time that she used her tweezers of hell I was thinking of a way to get out of there. " Hey look the Jonas Brothers!, nope that won't work... Single Army Man looking for a hair cut!"

"There you go! What do you think?"

What do I think? As I look at my newly cleaned brows all I can think of is that I'm not bleeding! Or red for that matter but then again, it's not like pulled hard enough to do that!
Never mind, they are done now! I'll just ask my sister to do them next time she's comes for a visit!

I wasn't looking for mayhem to ensue during my visit to salon but there it was!

How To... (Part One)

How to lose a 170 dollar check in 1 hour:

1) Put it in your purse
2) unknowingly your son goes through your purse before you can get to the bank
3) root through your purse for 20 minutes
4) curse at everything in sight, including the teenagers that are looking funny at you while you hit your head on the steering wheel

How to get your son to go to bed:

1) get him in his pjs and get his teeth brushed
2) read a story and sing songs
3) when he comes down the stairs the first time tell him to go back to bed and take him up
4) Repeat if necessary
5) if after the 5th time he comes down the stairs, tell him his aunt is making plans to come down for a visit but she will only if he listens to mommy! ( If you are really tired skip step 4 and go straight to 5!)

How to convince your husband that you need to watch Grey's Anatomy:
1) tell him none of his shows are on!
2) convince him that his Guild on World of Warcraft needs him tonight!

More to come!

I Won My First Blog Award!!!

I'm so excited!!

I must thank Paula from A Party of Six !

You love me! You really love me!! I want to thank the blogging world for giving me this opprotunity to blog! The blogger friends I've made in the past couple of months and of course my family for being their crazy selves! Hey! I'm never getting a Grammy or an Oscar so I'm doing my speech now!

Here are the rules:
1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here are my choices for the One Lovely Blog Award:

Parenting By Google

Babbling Abby

All Hail Queen Mommy

The Adventures of Supermom

Yes, Divas Can Cook

The Crazy Suburban Mom

Take Me As I Am

The Attic Girl

Spell out Loud

Same As It Ever Was

Pigtails and Puppy Dogs

Married/Single Parent

JulieChats

Life With The Babe

My Loves Forever

I Want, No, I WILL Be A Biggest Loser!!

I'm sitting here watching the season finale of the Biggest Loser.

One by one the contestants from this season are coming out and the more I see them, the more I want to get to where they are now!

I'm getting hot body envy!!

But not only does the Biggest Loser make viewers like me get up at work my flabby ass, they have a great program that helps the community during these difficult economic times.


It's called the Biggest Loser Pound for Pound Challenge. For every pound you pledge to lose in the summer General Mills will donate 14 cents to Feeding America- enough to provide a pound of groceries to local food banks.

I think that's a great excuse to lose weight! But since this Challenge is not set up in Canada, I'm going to see if there is a possibility to having this done on our base to help the community around us. I'll keep you posted on the idea!

But for now, my health has gotten better, I've been walking with a friend of mine, and tomorrow I'm getting out the old weights and starting to weight lift again. My biggest concern was lifting the weight because I was getting dizzy from doing just everyday things like picking up my daughter to take her to the second floor. Yeah, I know that's bad! But now it's getting better.

So I'm going to continue to watch the show and hopefully my girl Tara will take the entire show!

I love my sister!

So my sister told me that while she was working at the hardware store a five year old came in with his father and he looked really upset.

He looked up at my sister and asked, " Does Bob the Builder work here?"

"I'm sorry he doesn't", she said.

And before the kid started to cry my sister tried to console him and said, " But he comes her often!"

I thought that was too cute!

The Hurricane that is my house....

I would show you how crazy my house looks, really I would! The only problem with that is you would be paralyzed by fear at what my place has become!

I have messy fairies that come in the middle of the night and terrorize my house. Laundry everywhere, dishes in the sink, juice stains on the floor. They are messy those little fairies!


But as the official Minister Of Planning in my house I have spent a great deal of time trying to organize my thoughts on how I am going to tackle this mess. And that is why I'm on the computer writing rather than picking up....

I'm overwhelmed by the disaster! I need a maid! All I'm doing is just staring at the mess thinking what needs to be done and how I can accomplish it. But once again I'm typing...


I actually got a phone call from my mother today and she told me how my dad thinks I have the most immaculate house on the base. Why you might ask? Because on my Twitter page and Facebook I talk about how I'm cleaning my house or planning to do so. Very true, I should just get up off the sofa, put my laptop away and start cleaning the house. But really, I'm just overwhelmed and wish someone else would do it!


But my mom did give me this great tip: Instead of thinking about all that needs to be done, think, "today I'm going to clean the stove". Sound easy enough so I did the dishes. That was my accomplishment for the day. Tomorrow, the fridge. She also said you can do other things, you know the jobs you don't mind doing (for me it's laundry), then before you know the job you schedule to do will be done and you'll feel great that you managed to get at least one thing done!


And you know what? The toys are still on the ground, paperwork still needs to get done but I'm extremely happy that the dishes got done!

The job doesn't seem so daunting now that I look at the smaller picture.

Things I NEVER Want To Recieve For Mother's Day

Here it goes:

• Cleaning appliances like a vacuum, mop, dishwasher ( always good but not for Mother's Day).-It's my day to relax and enjoy being a mom, I don't want to think of cleaning!
  
  
  

• Books on parenting- I'm not getting the Mother of the Year Award, that doesn't mean you have to make me feel like an even crappier mom by getting me a guide to better parenting!

• A Cemetery Plot! Enough said!
  
  
  

• A Pet- just what I need, another thing to take care of!
  
  

• Fruit of the Month Club Membership- that's sentimental!

• The combination of an All-You-Can Eat Brunch then exercise equipment. Nothing says "I love you Mom" than the notion of you need to get in shape so here are dumbbells, but first let's go out and stuff your face!

• Diaper Duty- Come on! It's Mother's Day!
  
  

• Early Morning Wake up Call see #7.

• Tickets to a horror movie- Yeah, my dream date night!
  
  

• Forgetting about Mother's Day in general

Which reminds me, I need to call my mom!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!