MOMVERSATION MONDAY: Temper Tantrums: Can Moms Have Them Too?

Ladies and gentlemen! It's Momversation Monday!!!

Today's guest panelist Sarah Burns of The Ohana Mama asks "Are moms allowed to have temper tantrums?"

UMM YES!!

I for one have had several Mommy Tantrums in the past 4 years. I have kicked and screamed and slammed the doors. I've cried with my head in the pillow. You name it I've done it.

I used to do it when I was tired and frustrated early in my son's life. I was alone with my husband away a basic training so it was just me and an eight month old. Feeling like I was failing I would break down.

Now, there have been days where no one will listen to me, everyone is yelling, and I will break down because there is nothing left for me to do. Anyone who would witness a Mommy Tantrum, my kids and my husband, they would laugh because they think it was funny that I melted down onto the floor babbling a bunch on nonsense that no one could understand.

But you know, I find it to be rather therapeutic to have a tantrum. When I'm around my kids, I try to be the one who is calm and collective and all my emotions are held in. And then before you know it you all of your emotions come out in one big mess. I actually feel a little better after one!!
Everyone has temper tantrums! I know people in their 20s who still have tantrums!

What about you?
What do you think about mommy and daddy tantrums? Yes I'll include you men in it!

Later Days!

Lessons In Clothes Shopping

While my mom was visiting we had to go shopping for clothes for my sister's formal dinner birthday party.

Before I continue, let me explain that ever since I was 5 I NEVER dress up. I don't wear pantyhose, I don't like dress pants, I will wear a dress but it's on my terms. After having kids I rarely purchase clothes because I'm in the process of losing the pregnancy weight. I'll buy what I need but I'm not getting anything fancy.

So we go shopping because I was lied to about the restaurant that I was going to (thank you, you know who you are!). Clothing shopping here we go!

When we got home from shopping I realized that there were many things that would have made the trip more relaxing, and there were also some faux pas that you shouldn't do when shopping for clothes.

Lets get started:

1. If you know what you are looking for (sportswear, formal ware) go to the stores that you know have the specific items you need. When you start going into stores that don't have what you are looking for you are going to be wasting your time and you will become frustrated.

2. If it's going to be a long shopping trip make sure to bring some water and small snack. I know it sounds weird but believe me when you have only a limited time to shop, stopping at a coffee shop with dozens in line is a waste of time. And you need to keep your energy up, you will become run down and irritable.

3. When you are shopping go with a friend who won't give you the generic comments.
"That's cute!"; " I like it!"; " Nice!" are not helpful! It leaves you wondering if they just want to get out of the store. Bring someone who will give you an honest opinion. Someone who isn't going to let you leave the store with something too small or ugly. You know it's an honest opinion when they say things like "That would look great with (whatever the item you already have)" or " As your friend I can't let you leave the store with that".

4. Look for the "Hanger Potential". I learned about this when I was looking for my prom dress and used it well when I found my wedding dress.
Hanger Potential means that, when you look at the garment on the hanger there may not be any zip to it and you might not be drawn to put it on. But give it a shot you might have found your perfect outfit!

5. NEVER go with someone smaller than you. It sounds shallow but many women are jealous of other peoples bodies. We are too fat, too tall, she's perfect, blah, blah, blah! So if you absolutely need to get something, go alone. That way you are not comparing yourself to your skinnier shopping buddy.

6. TAKE A COMPLIMENT. If you go back to number 3, those are not genuine compliments. I hate having to convince people that they look amazing in something. I get having insecurities and you have to feel great about the outfit, but don't always think there is ulterior motive to the compliment. If you feel great enjoy the fact that you look hot!

7. Skinny people... You are not fat so stop saying it! Claiming that you are fat and then telling the sales lady you are a size 6 doesn't get any sympathy from me. And I will not apologize for calling you out!

8. If you are going to be trying on strapless dresses, how about trying to wear a nude color bra and panties. You won't get the effect of what the dress looks like when when a metallic blue bra is coming out of the dress. And for Pete's sake! Take off the damn socks cause you are not going to be wearing them with the formal dress (unless there is a new trend I'm unaware of).

9. If you are looking for an opinion that is not in sync with what you were thinking, consider it, but please don't bring out 20 different shoes to someone to see and not take their opinion.

10. If you don't know the latest trends, go with a fashion savvy friend. Or before you go, check online for things trends you would be interested in try out.

11. Check out the high end shops. If you are on a budget, you might find it hard to go in, but have some fun trying out the expensive clothes. Then you can go to shops within your budget and find them at your price bracket.

12. Be nice to the sales lady! They can be very helpful. Some actually do want to help, not because of their commission. They have insider information. I was told by a couple of people that were willing to put something away for me until the next week because there was a super sale happening. Too bad I was only visiting my sisters for the weekend!

That's it folks!
Happy Shopping!

I'm Back Blogging World!!

Hello everyone!!

It's been a couple of days. I've been spending some time with my mom who came from Panama to visit her daughters and grand kids.

It was a very nice visit. A welcomed visit! The kiddies loved spending time with their Vovo (grandmother in Portuguese). They loved having an extra person to play with and read stories with. It's been nice having someone else to talk to.

We enjoyed a great week and I'm sad that she is gone, but I can't wait to see her again soon! It was too bad my dad wasn't able to come. Next time!

Even Cpl. Mayhem had a great time listening to old stories about me as a kid and some of the latest things that have been going on in Panama.

We miss you Mamae!! Come back soon! Our house is open anytime!

Adam Lambert and the AMAs. Oh Lordy!!

I loves me my AMAs! I love the music, I love the clothes and I love the controversy. It seemed like a quiet night until the end of the show where Adam Lambert gave one of the most umm, over the top performances I've seen on the AMAs.

OK, first off, I'm not offended by the kiss he gave one of his male dancers. It might be shocking and may have made others uncomfortable, but I was thinking, it was about damn time! If they are allowing female performers to kiss on a national stage and doing rather odd acts, why can't a guy! I know it's new but, we can watch threesomes now on television shows, it's time to catch up.

Well, there were some big deals. Lambert had to be censored because some of the things he did was R-rated to say the least! Many are saying that Lambert hasn't earned his stripes to pull a "Madonna or Janet Jackson Shocker". And Janet wasn't shocking but she was so good!!!

Something that Elizabeth Hasselbeck said on The View was that Lambert is a great singer but he will not be remembered for the songs he sings, he will be remembered for the performance shockers. I'm just shocked that I agreed with her!

But it's true. That is what I describe Lady GaGa. I'm sorry, I know a couple of songs of hers and she has a great voice but I could not get over the flashing ribcage she wore in her performance.

They are great performers but their ability to flash and surprise will be the first things that come to mind when their names are mentioned in conversation.

What I have heard from all of this is that kids were watching the show. What kid is up at 11pm to watch the AMAs? Make a note parents who have only seen this years AMA... They will try to top it for next year.

My question to the AMAs producers is: Where were you when Lambert was doing a mic check, or practicing this piece? I know it's hard to stop a performer from doing things (Madonna, Britney, buddy who plays Borat, Eminem) but you know you could have said something! Not only that you could have censored it from the beginning. There is curse button with a 5 second delay! Hire one camera guy whose sole purpose is to have his camera square on the audience and when something obscene happens cut to the audience! Wow! That didn't take much thinking up!

One thing I will agree with is the double standards between male and female artists. If you are going to let one sex do something, allow the other to do so as well. I know we are fairly new to the idea that two men are going to kiss each other (OH MY GOD NO WAY!). But ladies have been making out with each other forever now, they even have a song about it!

Lambert wanted to push the envelope like every artist wants to do and is free to do so on a show like the AMAs. He wanted to promote freedom of expression and artistic freedom. No offense Lambert but it has been done. It was a copy cat performance of something that has been seen already, done by the shock master herself, Madonna.

My big question is:

Did anyone else see him fall? That was the best part for me! He was like a pro! Didn't think anything of it, tuck, roll and continued on!!

Later days!

MOMVERSATION MONDAY: Thanksgiving Traditions: Yours or Your Mother's?

Happy Momversation Monday!!

Dana Loesch from Mamalogues.com asks 'Whose Thanksgiving is it, yours or your mom's?"

Did we celebrate Thanksgiving this year like my mom did? Umm, no. We didn't. Actually it was a crazy month ( in Canada we already celebrated Thanksgiving). We had Dwayne's Aunt and Cousin over for a ham, nothing big. Cpl. Mayhem had been on courses for weeks and I wasn't going to make a turkey that only I was going to eat for days on end. If my kids loved turkey, sure I would have pulled all the stops, but they don't so I kept it extremely simple.

We are doing the BIG Christmas dinner. We are going to have time and we found a time saver turkey, it sounds weird but I'll explain it in a later post. I think for us the major holiday is Christmas. Thanksgiving has always been a hit or miss kind of holiday. If we aren't going to friends places for a pot luck dinner, we are home keeping things simple. If hubby is home we will make something extra, but we try not to overdo it.

I hope everyone has (or had) a wonderful Thanksgiving and let me know what you do for Thanksgiving!

Funny Things Auntie Mayhem Says!

(What a ham!)

While on the phone with my sister she gave me a couple of giggles, here they are:

AM: "So are you watching the new Melrose Place?"

ME: "You mean the old one is still on?"

AM: "SHUT UP!!"

AM: "You have to watch Taylor Swift's SNL Monologue."

ME: " What do I type?"

AM: " Just write down Taylor Swift La,la,la"

Me: "I didn't find it, however I did find Taylor Swift Ha,ha,ha song!"

AM: "La,la,la. Ha,ha,ha. Whatever it's just one letter."

ME: " One letter makes a huge difference AM!"

AM: " SHUT UP! You found it didn't you!"

Moms Fight the Flu

Flu Season! Come on moms, it's on your minds!

When Cpl. Mayhem was away for the month all that was on my mind was what would happen to my kids if I got sick. What would happen to them if they got sick. And it didn't help that all my friends talked about and the media had it on 24/7.

Well we all got sick! All three of. The doctor at the time said it was the croup, which was what I believed it was because the symptoms that they had screamed croup. But he did not swab them or me. This was during the time they stopped swabbing people because it was backlogging the labs. But we all had the symptoms.

Was I scared? Yes! I hate when my kiddies get sick, I feel helpless that I can't make them feel better and their little bodies have to fight whatever it was that they had. Sleep was out of the question.

So I'm loving being a part of the "Moms Fight the Flu" Blog Tour. Along side Mom Central and The Ontario Ministry of Health this is my one stop to get all my information that I will need to keep myself and my family healthy during the flu season. I'm feeling a bit more at ease now that I have one place to guide me through the flu season.

The Ontario Ministry of Health website has great information and kept updated with the most recent news about H1N1 vaccine clinic.

The one great feature on the website is their Flu Self-Assessment Tool. Although it is meant to be provided as a guidance only. It's a nice feature to check out before you wait in the hospital for nine hours.

Not only that they have some amazing information about what you can do to treat your child's fever or other flu symptoms (I may be a mom, but I didn't get the "mommy manual" when they were born). Here are somethings to fight some of the symptoms:

• Encourage your child to get plenty of rest.
• Use salt-water nose drops to treat a stuffy nose.
• Ask your pharmacist about any over-the-counter medicines for cough.

One of the biggest things we as parents should do is keep our children home when they have a fever, let it pass at least 24 hours. We prevent the spread of the virus that way.

Now my family has been vaccinated. It's a relief to have them but we know that we still need to continue to prevent the spread of the regular flu. Covering your mouth when you cough, washing your hands.... Practices I believe are a common courtesy. But I have picked up some extras for this years flu season.

(OK maybe a lot more than usual!)

"I wrote this post while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central and received a Mom Central gift pack to thank me for taking the time to participate."

Dear Mormon Missionaries

Dear Mormon Missionaries,

As you might not be allowed to get Internet and read my blog. Why would you be reading my blog anyways!

Anyways, if you read my message to the telemarketer that letter also applies to you!

I have no problem welcoming you into my house but I would rather if you called first, preferably during the business hours. Any phone calls after 7pm will not be welcomed with a warm reply.

And please come to my house when I know you are going to show up.

This evening after the family came back from the pre-deployment debriefing we saw you walking up to our door. Annoyed by the 8pm house call and that we still needed to get the kids put to bed, I didn't feel like talking. So while I was thinking of my "this isn't a great time for a visit speech", Cpl. Mayhem announced:

"Lets keep driving!". I was totally OK with that! I would have said to him that he was being rude. But no, not today!

Ducky realized that we passed the house and said, "Hey, Dad you missed the house!"

So I apologize tonight for the drive-away. Hopefully you can catch my during the appropriate times indicated above!

BRRRRRR!!!

Looking for a Cleaner

My mother has told me that she wanted to give me a break and hire someone to come and clean my house. I know!

At first I wasn't sure if I should be excited or insulted, because the only way she could have heard about my messy house would have been from Auntie Mayhem when she came down for a visit. I'm not mad, just embarrassed. It was a busy month!

Anyway, I decided to go with the positive and now I'm looking for someone who would be willing to clean my house.

But there is one thing that a friend and I were talking about when we were talking about getting a house cleaner: We would feel like we would have to clean the house before they come! LOL!

For me I'm going to get my paperwork organized and out of the way, anything else is theirs to clean!

Getting someone to help out once a week or every two weeks while hubby is in Afghanistan was something we discussed before and maybe once the house cleaner comes this week it might be something I might bring back to the table.

I'm not afraid to ask for some help every once in a while, especially when I could be doing better things than polishing my table. Like spending time with my kids or blogging for you!

Later days!

MOMVERSATION MONDAY: Online Shopping or Brick and Mortar Shopping?

Momversation and I are in sync today!! Maggie Mason of Mighty Girl asks online shopping or in-store shopping.

I actually went shopping today with Cpl. Mayhem for Christmas. No kids, hubby home equals opportunity!!!

We decided to check out the stores in the next town, we have nothing in our town so we have to take a drive to the closest mall which is a ways away.

When we got there we made a quick plan: Wal-Mart, the mall and out. We don't have time to linger around. I chose to start at the stores because I believe in shopping at local businesses first.
I love to look around in the stores and find unique gift ideas that I don't think you can find online shopping sometimes. For example, they are not a gift but it's something neat my husband pointed so we got them.

(so cute!)

So we got half of our list and now I'll be online shopping. I love but I also hate online shopping. My love with online shopping comes with the convenience for me. Since I live in a small town with no shopping whatsoever, we need to travel to other towns to get our shopping done. Gas, energy, time is wasted doing this. Plus my patience is shot when I need to shop with the kids.

I love that some shops will wrap your presents for you (YEAY!). I love that I can just go to the site that I know will have the item so I'm not running from store to store searching for the Handy Mandy Motorcycle in twenty store only to find that they don't carry it or when they do the wall that would have them is bare. Yeah, that's fun!

My only downside to shopping online is that I'm home, I enjoy getting out and interacting with other people.

So what about you? Online shopper or the good old mall?

Side note: I just came back from a town meeting and they are looking in to re-zoning a residential are to a commercial area so there can be more shopping in our town! It's about time!

Build-A-Bear Worshop Winner!!!

Congrats to Joanna!!!

Her comment:

Joanna said...
I love that there is military uniforms! DH is about to leave for several months and so we want to take our 16 month old to Build a Bear and make him one in a army uniform with the sound chip so he can hear his daddy's voice =-)

Like I've done before, I'm giving you 48 hours to contact me with your info!!

GO!!

Phone Calls

Dear Telemarketer,

I'm not sure why you are calling me at 9:30pm, but let me tell you that I am pissed!

For one it's almost ten o'clock and I was just getting ready to go to bed. Now I can't because the phone rang and woke up both my kids.

So no, I'm not interested in a newspaper subscription and it is too much trouble for me to take your survey.

Do you not know what 9-5 business hours are? I know it's hard to catch me around that time, since I'm so busy cleaning my house, doing laundry and playing with my kids. In fact I would love to get a call during the day. That would break my day up, you would actually get happy Vanessa, and she wouldn't have any problems having a chat!

But late at night, if you are not family, you aren't being sent to the slammer, you aren't being sent to the hospital by ambulance don't call so late!

This also go to the MCpl. who called the house looking for my husband when he dang well knew he was out in the field.

"UHHH, is Cpl. Mayhem there?"

"UHHH, no he is out the field, you should know this!"

"Does he have a cell phone number?"

"He does, something you should also have!"

Thank you for your time,

Build-A-Bear Salutes The Troops! CONTEST!!

With Cpl. Mayhem getting ready to go overseas, we have been thinking of getting the kids something to remind them of their daddy while he was gone. And Build-A-Bear Workshop was a first choice! And how great were they to send my kids a soldier bear.

(I couldn't even get the tags off of "Teddy")

What's really great about the Build-A-Bear is that you can get a voice recording put into your animal buddy so that they can have their mommy or daddy with them even though they are away on tour! So great, right?

Not only that, you can go into the stores and build your new pal! You can make them just the way you like your stuffed friend. They have great outfits including military uniforms, and fun accessories like flags and furniture.
Plus Build-A-Bear has a Find-A-Bear® ID program. If your furry friend is ever lost then returned to a Build-A-Bear shop, they can hopefully use this information to send it home to you.

The fun doesn't stop with just your new friend, you are also able to go online and play games!

Here's the best part:

Build-A-Bear is showing their support to US troops in honour of Veterans Day. During November 11th till November 15th, when you purchase a Build-A-Bear you will receive a 20% discount on any transaction at any store! All you have to do is present your military identification card. This offer is good for all members of the armed services including the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Coast Guard, and Reserve Officer Training Corps.

But I have a $25 gift card that I am giving away right here on A Military Wife's Mayhem!

First: Comment about what kind of outfit you would put on your new pal ( I'm a clothes freak!)

For extra entries:

1. Become a follower and comment that you did

2. Become a fan on my Facebook Fan Page and comment that you did

Contest closes November 15th at midnight! Good luck!

Rememberance Day

Every Remembrance Day is a special day when you are in the military. Actually before Cpl. Mayhem joined the military I will admit I missed what the big deal was. I'm sorry it sounds bad but I did. I lived in my own bubble where the worst thing that has happened to me was having to take summer school.

But after my husband and I lost friends overseas, Remembrance Day has become much more than just another day. It has become a day of celebration, to celebrate the heroes who fought for our country. It has become also a day of pride. I am proud to be Canadian and I am proud of my husband and the job he is doing as well as the mission he is preparing for.

Around this time last year, my husband and I were shopping when an old lady walked up to my husband and asked if he was a soldier. When Cpl. Mayhem said yes, she reached out for his hand and thanked him for the sacrifice that he was making for all Canadian.

He looked at me, his cheeks red from embarrassment because even he didn't realize how big of an impact he was making by choosing to join the military.

She then came up to me and asked if I was with him. She held my hand and thanked me for the ultimate sacrifice, not always having our husbands home and how she had a special place in her heart for the families of military soldiers.

Once she left, my hubby walked over to me and said how silly it was and what he was doing wasn't a big deal.

I looked at him with a smile and said "You are a big deal to me."

For every Canadian, take a moment to pause this Remembrance Day. We have soldiers fighting for us that need our support, no matter what your political beliefs are.

I hold the hands of all military families and tell them that we are proud to support their sons and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters.

We wear the poppy to remember the fallen, those who fought for our freedom. We shall never forget your ultimate sacrifice.

(RIP Cpl. Matthew McCully and Cpl. Kenneth Chad O'Quinn )

Friend Intro: Sarah!

You know I don't mention a lot of people names on my blog unless I ask but I HAD to introduce you to my pal Sarah!

Sarah was my neighbour when we first got posted on base. When I met her my son wanted to play with her son and their big dog She was the first to introduce herself and I was terribly shy. The whole idea of making new friend was hard for me.

Not only that she was intimidating. When I first met her she was still in her military gear. Yes, in case you missed it from the photo, my pal is a soldier! The whole military life was new to me and I felt terribly intimidated by the uniform. I was even nervous around Cpl. Mayhem for a while, and I still don't know why.

(Sarah and her pals Dora and Buzz. Photo by Sarah)

Anyway, for the longest time she would try to get me to come out with her friends, and I would come up EVERY excuse in the book not to go.

"Hubby isn't home and I don't have a sitter"

"It was a busy day today, I was thinking of going to bed early"

"I wish you would have told me sooner, I have plans, sorry!"

I was getting to the point where I was out of excuses, and she STILL tried to get me out!

One night she came over and before I could tell that I had to wash my hair or walk the fish she looked and me and said,

" OK, I know the hubby is home and you can't give me anymore excuses, so before you come up with something else to say, you are coming and I'll get you 30 minutes!"

I had a blast! I'm kind of glad that she didn't give up on me. She is one of my dearest friends and I miss her tons! We were pregnant with our daughters around the same time, we helped her move out of the RHU into her house and she just makes me laugh!

I hope to see her at Christmas, she and I are going to be doing something extra special for my blog that I know many will LOVE!!!

Missing you Sarah! Be safe!

New Eden Fantasys Contest Winner

After several attempts to get in contact with the winner of the Eden Fantasys winner. I've decided to draw again. Many blogs give 48 hours for the winner to contact the host of the contest so I will now do the same so the new winner is chosen from Random.org is:

NUMBER 10 BADGER MOMMA!!!!

Badger Momma said...
I'm a brand new follower. Oh and by the way, I LOVE that you've put "Military Spouse - Toughest Job in the Military" in your header. That is SO true! I was a military spouse with my ex and we got such flack for wearing sweatshirts with that phrase on it. But no one had it harder than us. Truly.

A follower commented on how to paste the photo from Random.org in one of my comments, but I can't find it anymore. So if anyone knows how to do that let me know. I promise, I won't loose the info this time!

Congrats Badger Momma! You have 48 hours! GO!

Momversation Monday: Children Home Alone? How Soon Is Too Soon?

Hello Momversation fans!! It's Monday!!!

And we have a couple of guest panelist on today. No, it's not me. I would love to get back on there though!

Guest Meredith Sinclair of Hoo-dee-Hoo starts our Monday's topic. She asks "When do you leave kids home alone?"

With my kids being only 4 and 22 months, I have a long way before I leave my kids home alone.

But at what age would I leave my kids alone? Not sure really.

For me it would have to depend on how mature my child is and if I could trust him to follow the rules when he/she is home alone. Some say 9 or 10 if you were going to leave to go to the market for a minute or so.

I guess it all depends on the child. I do have specific rules for them when I do decide to leave them alone. Don't answer the door or the phone, unless it's me or Cpl. Mayhem. Follow the house rules and don't kill each other while I'm gone. Giggles!

What about you? At what age do you think you will leave your child alone?

Tide Box Drama

When we moved into our first Residential Housing Unit (they are no longer calling them PMQs), my husband's Aunt Scarlett was telling me about some of the things you hear and the stereotypes of being a military wife.

She was telling about the Tide boxes and when you are living in RHU ... and you felt, um lonely, you put out a Tide box in front of your window and someone would know that your husband was gone. Do I need to draw a picture?

I thought that was just horrible! Why would you do that? But some people do that. This military wife however is true to her vows and I proved it to Cpl. Mayhem when we were packing to move to another RHU.

"Vanessa can you come down to the basement for a minute?"

"Yeah, babe, what's up?"

"What the heck is with all the Tide boxes in the basement"

"I was scared to put them out in fear that someone would think it was an invitation"

" LOL! You are funny baby!"

Early Morning Breath And The Eternal Question

Yesterday, I felt a heavy breathing early in the morning. The breathing was right over my head and I felt as if someone was watching me.

(Heavy Breathing) "Mommy..... Mommeeeeeeee, MOM"

"What and why are you staring at me?"

"Look it's snowing! It's Christmas!"

That's great Ducky, now lets review the "don't wake mommy up before 7am" rule again.


Today I got a chance to shower in peace (a miracle in itself!). Chicky who is learning to talk very quickly started to ask questions.

"Mommy..."

"Yes Chicky?"

"What you doing?"

"I was taking a shower"

"Why?"

" I haven't showered in a couple of days"

"Why?"

"Because I was busy"

"Why?"

"Because I was taking care of you"

"Why?"

"Because you were sick"

"Mommy?"

"Yes Chicky?"

"What you doing?"

"Getting annoyed"

"Why?"

"Because we are going to do these questions all over again!"

MOMVERSATION MONDAY: Depression Hurts: Overcoming Depression

Momversation Monday ladies and gentlemen! And my favorite blogger Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce.com asking how do you overcome depression.

Depression is a very hard topic since having my kids because I was diagnosed with post partum depression after having my daughter.

But let me tell you that I think, no, I KNOW I also had PPD with my son. But I was told to suck it up and deal with it. Or my favorite, "it will pass"!

The first person who noticed was the nurse who was coming to visit me and Ducky to see how I was doing. She walked in, told everyone to leave and started asking me how I was and wasn't going to leave until I got EVERYTHING in out! When I asked her how she knew, she told me that I was living her life 10 years ago. The next person was my own mother. She knew that something was wrong, and once she got a hold of me and moved me into her house for a couple of months while Cpl. Mayhem was at basic training, we changed my diet and I started to workout and we talked, a lot!

So my first bout of it was manageable. My second....

Not so much. My mother knew right away and got the nurse, the doctor and ANYONE who would listen. I hated it then, but I knew she was doing the right thing.

Why was I so against my mother getting someones attention about my depression? Well for those who have depression, you feel hopeless, like you can't function in "real society".
Danny Evans, author of Rage Against the Meshugenah and the popular blog Dad Gone Mad is correct in saying that having a mental illness in society means being crazy. Which makes it very hard for someone with depression to come forward. I wanted help but I didn't want the stigma of having a mental disorder.

I personally lose all social skills and seclude myself for days on end. Which is hard for my friend who try to contact me but I can't bear to call anyone. Not only is it hard for my friends it harder for my family. I can't play with my kids I'm exhausted all the time. I don't want to have anything to do with my husband and my parents who live in a different country won't hear from me for months on end. I get irritated with anyone who calls because I don't want to talk, I just want to be alone.

I've said it before it's like everyone else is going full speed ahead but you are just standing still.

I want to be healthy and whole for my family, and with medication and lifestyle changes I was able to maintain what I call my perfect balance. A good metal state equals a good life, the balance is even. When my metal health shifts, my life balance is thrown off.

Anything can throw my balance of but I have a supportive husband who now knows the signs and I myself know what I need to do to get back on track. My biggest thing: I talk. It's hard, but I do it because I know for myself holding it in only pushes my balance off even more.

How about we get rid of the notion that depression is a faux pas and give people with depression the compassion that they need. Because like Mindy said, I wish people would have talked to me more. And many don't know how to ask for help.

Compassion, that's what we need.

Eden Fantasys Contest Winner!

Congrats to Brittany and Alex Garcia

She was number 12 on the Random.org I wish I could copy and paste it, but I can't seem to figure it out. If someone knows how, let me know!

She wrote:
Brittany and Alex Garcia said...
In order for my husband and I to have time together we have to schedule way in advance. Even though we do not have kids yet, we both go to school full time and my husband works full time. So there is always homework or housework to be done!

Send me an email with your info and we'll send it asap!

Congrats and have fun!!!

What A Weekend!! Halloween Edition!

The kids were really excited to see Auntie Mayhem Saturday morning, they jumped on her and told her today was Halloween and that they were going trick or treating.

I had to remind Ducky that it was going to be later in the day, but he seemed just fine hanging off his Auntie, as did Chicky!

So we all had some fun, then I got the call I was waiting for!!! Look who came home for the weekend!!!

(Cpl. Mayhem just loves coming home to big hugs!)

Now lets get to the Halloween fun!! Ducky was pretty much going crazy waiting for the trick or treating to start, and once he finally able to go out he had a plan.

Go to all the houses on the base, not one house will be overlooked! At first we started taking Chicky in and out of the stroller, but we decided it was much faster to just keep her in the stroller and push her up to the doors. I have to tell you she sure did get the hang of it very quickly.

There was one guy who walked up to the door in a costume that required batteries because it was one of those blow up costumes ( the guy on a horse), and Auntie Mayhem said that he might have to step out of his house to drop the candy in. He got flustered and said that he couldn't because he was plugged in! He had lost his battery power a couple of minutes before! I wish I had taken a photo!

Last year Ducky and Cpl. Mayhem were out until at least quarter to eleven, but because we were out with Chicky and we weren't too sure how she was going to do we decided to go around our block come back and then Ducky and hubby would continue on. Unfortunately the wind was making the kids extremely cold so we came in early. But we got some loot!

Later days!