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Good Morning! It's time for another Momversation Monday!
Today's topics: Hugs! Karen Walrond of Chookooloonks asks do we make our kids hug our friends?
I don't force my kids to hug. They are natural huggers, they want to hug someone when they are feeling sad. If someone asks for a hug they will give one. However, I have heard them say no once in a while because they were being shy or were just not in the mood to.
What I don't like is having someone force my kid to hug them and they have said no more than once. I've cringed on several occasions last summer when my kids were at a family function and family members were passing my kids back and forth forcing them to hug people. I could see it Ducky's eyes that the only thing he wanted to do was play with his cousins and didn't want to hug anyone. Chicky who is only two only remembers about a handful of people and she was terrified all I could do was watch because I was being forced to do the same thing.
A hug should be a natural thing, a forced hug isn't showing the person asking for one that you care. It's just saying "I'm only doing this to get you off my back".
I know I'm one of those moms who have said "go hug ____", but my kids have both said no to me or to whoever was asking and I don't have a problem with that. I'd rather hear no, than feel like my kids were forced to do something they don't want to do.
The ONLY time I tell them to hug someone is during bedtime. They love giving hugs at bedtime but they sometimes uses it as an excuse to get out of bed. So I tell them to go hug your brother, sister, dad, mom or it's just a big run around, so I like to cut the excuses to a minimum.
Do you force your kids to hug your friends?
3 witnessing the mayhem:
Hi! Cute blog! I don't think I've EVER told my kids to hug my friends! But then I'm not a huggy, touchy person myself. Plus being in the army, traveling all the time, meeting new people, you can't just trust anybody. I'm very protective over my kids...call me paranoid, but it only takes one incident to forever ruin your child's life. I guess if it was a close friend I trusted I wouldn't mind...if they wanted to! Good post!
Have a great week~Aubrey
Hi! I encourage my kids to hug their relatives when we or they are leaving. I don't for my friends unless they're really close family friends.
We visit my best friend (shut in with M.S.) a few times a week and if my 18 year old son is with me, he'll hug her as we leave. But I don't make him. It always surprises her!
I love your blog!!!
I work with kinder and first grade, and they are still at that age where teachers either A. ask them to hug each other after an apology, or B. the ladies I work with require a hug before they leave
I do neither. After kids apologize to each other I say "Now give a handshake, high five, or hug" ...that way they have a choice and nothing is forced (alot of times they do two or all three of the things haha)
and I never ask for hugs unless it is the last day of school. ironically enough out of everyone I work with I get the most hugs. I think it's because I let the kids do it when they want to not because they have to.
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