Friday, September 27, 2013

What I'm Proud of...

While on vacation visiting MCpl. Mayhem’s family, my mother in law, sister in law and I decided to take the kids to the market to get some local produce. It has been a very long time since we’ve been to a really good market and I immersed myself with the music, sights and the smells of home and the really amazing tart we decided to pick up for a snack.

We were enjoying the sweet pastries and the view when a woman walked up to us and told us this project that she was working on with her photography. She asked us if we wanted to have our photo taken and tell her what gave us a sense of pride. 

Want to know my secret?

I’m really proud of my independence. 

Now don’t get me wrong, being married to MCpl. Mayhem means everything to me and we are a package deal but for the most part, couples I had known before my husband joined the army, focused on themselves and being together as a unit. And like many marriages we lose our identity and you are no longer “you” but you are referred to as “us". 
And it’s hard to be “us” when your partner is always gone. I noticed I became a recluse hiding in my house and waiting for my life to start again when MCpl. Mayhem would come home and that’s not the way to live. This has been a big part of my depression trying to find out who I am and being lost in a world that I’ve never really been a part of. Lets face facts here, I’m just along for the ride. 

I had to find myself in a sea of cammo. I had to find my happiness.

I  learned to deal with health emergencies alone, I learned to fix things that fall apart when my man wasn’t around, I learned I had to break out of my shy shell and became a part of the community by volunteering. I learned I had to stop worrying about what people thought of me and voice my opinions wether people liked them or not. I learned that I didn’t need to rely on my husband for a full life, that’s on me. 

There is a big learning curve to this but I am proud of where I am now. I'm proud to know that I can be my own lifeboat when MCpl. Mayhem is not around and I can do anything life throws at me!

Please check out DreamCatcher Photography for some of Chelsea's work!!

1 witnessing the mayhem:

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of you too. Love you to bits, Miss Independent.